Ask Andi: Is our business is too accommodating? This month I got hit from every angle – customers, employees, and vendors. But it’s a one-way street of favor requests with nothing in return. How do I stop people from asking me for favors?
Thoughts of the day: A business that’s too accommodating can cost you. Human beings are wired to help others. Know when and how to say “enough.” Use favors in advance of requests to build up goodwill. Help the recipient to distinguish your behavior as giving, not just being cooperative. People value things more when they’ve had to work to get them. Keep things equal. Allow others to pay you back and express appreciation.
Business too accommodating is costing you
Do someone a favor because it makes you feel good. Someone asking for your opinion or help signals that they value what you have to say or do. Being open to requests translates into positive feedback that your psyche needs. Use the time to reflect on requests that have come your way as a way to boost your personal sense of worth.
Meeting a request doesn’t necessarily mean going “above and beyond.” Do what you can and be honest when you can’t. If you’ve overextended, don’t get mad at the requester, take a good look at your role in going across the line. Try to find a simpler way to respond that is within the boundaries of your available time and energy.
Of course, there are some people in the world who spend all of their time receiving. They are always there to ask for a favor, never there to help when you need it. Fortunately, they’re in the minority. Don’t let them get you down.
Use kindness as a business strength
You might do these “takers” a favor by pointing out the problem: “Why is it that whenever you need something you’re quick to ask, but when I need your help I don’t hear back from you?” See how they respond. Boost their awareness of how their behavior is perceived. See if they can rise above and start to take action. If not, then put your attention elsewhere.
As more requests come your way, focus on the outcome value. See the results of extending favors as things you’ve helped to make possible. Connect two people and watch to see how their worlds expand as a result of the connection. Give an employee extra time off and circle back to find out how things turned out for them. Extend a customer or vendor a favor and follow up to find out how that favor helped to make things better for them.
Inform while being firm and confident
Get ahead of the curve by offering to do something for someone before they ask. Don’t hesitate to start with a simple introductory statement, “I’m going to do you a favor.” Make the point that you’re intentionally extending yourself now for the potential of a return favor in the future.
Human beings are wired to value things they strive for. Flapping your jaw with unsolicited advice on topics that aren’t important to the recipient will likely diminish the value of what you’re offering. Take a moment upfront to establish that the topic at hand is important to the person you’re about to help. Ask them to let you know how things turn out, in order to show your interest in having the favor lead somewhere productive.
Many times “givers” are really good at giving and helping, not so good at receiving back. Check your “recipient” quotient. How good are you at letting others help you? When it’s happening do you recognize it? Do you thank them for the help? Fill people in on how their help made your world better. Allow others to help you whenever they can.
Looking for a good book? Try Give and Take, A Revolutionary Approach to Success by Adam Grant.
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