How hard do you try to make things work? I’m in a networking group and am constantly getting criticized by one member. It’s wearing thin, but I want to be inclusive and not take this personally.
Building any kind of organization requires skill at managing human relationships. Use goals and a code of conduct to guide the organization. Deal with problems, don’t let them fester.
Any time you put 2 or more people in a room together, the potential for conflict exists. Remember that the stages of group development are Form, Storm, Norm, Perform. What stage is your group in? Adapt your leadership style to help move your group through the stages until things flow smoothly.
When it comes to forming a group, remember the group is made up of individuals who often have little in common. Many groups are not clear enough about why they exist, be it for social purposes, lead generation, sharing of industry knowledge, etc. Think through what helps everyone bond together in support of your group. Are they all from the same market, selling to the same market, learning about the same things?
Clearly define the purpose of the group. Set some goals to give the group direction. Publish the purpose and goals and ask all members to sign a document saying they’re in support of the group’s common objectives.
Group members’ skills may differ widely. Outspoken communicators and quick paced problem solvers may get impatient waiting for others in the group to express themselves. Often it’s the independent, outgoing individuals who join groups – and who then get frustrated with the need for group process. Keep your eye out for disruption and take it outside the room for discussion and resolution.
Rules of behavior can help new comers fit in. Make sure the group is clear about basic responsibilities such as frequency of attendance, contribution (content, support, leads, financial, etc.), on-time arrival / early departure, connections in-between meetings. Interview new members to be sure that they are willing and able to support the stated goals of the group.
Think through whether the group wants to encourage or prevent competition among members. Often having 2 members of the same industry can lead to interesting discussion and additional perspective. Alternately, there can be uncomfortable moments if 2 companies provide identical services, and group members are expected to provide leads to each other.
Here are some questions to ask, which have no right answer, but may influence how the group runs.
- Who has input to how the group is run? Is it a dictatorship, or are officers democratically elected? What happens to accommodate to the group’s changing demographics and leadership needs, as new members come on board? What about leadership burnout?
- What is the right size for the group? Under 10 members, with 1/3 not showing for a meeting, can drastically cut into the group process. Over 30, it takes a long time for new members to get to know everyone.
- How much recruiting are you willing and able to do? Larger groups require more recruiting, in order to sustain the base. New recruits may miss subtle clues as to what the organization is all about. Adhere to the common purpose and goals when soliciting new members. Don’t just sign up people for the sake of adding members.
Now, let’s tackle the core of the question. Mean, disruptive behavior, in my book, isn’t acceptable – in business, in groups, in life, at all. It’s important to be clear about the group’s standards of behavior when it comes to respect and support of each other. After all, if the group members aren’t there to watch each other’s backs, what’s the point.
It’s tough enough doing business today, without having to dodge pot shots. Address the behavior with the disruptive individual(s) to be sure they’re aware of how they’re coming across. If things don’t change, ask those persons to leave, as their negative influence will continue to eat away at the core of the group.
Looking for a good book? More Leads: The Complete Handbook for Tips Groups, Leads Groups and Networking Groups, by Peter Biadasz.
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Andi Gray is president of Strategy Leaders Inc., www.StrategyLeaders.com, a business consulting firm that specializes in helping entrepreneurial firms grow. She can be reached by phone at 877-238-3535. Do you have a question for Andi? Please send it to her, via e-mail at AskAndi@StrategyLeaders.com or by mail to Andi Gray, Strategy Leaders Inc., 5 Crossways, Chappaqua, NY 10514.
